Brighter and brighter...

We made a family goal at the beginning of the year to memorize one scripture per week. Here's the one we've done so far: D&C 50:24 "That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light and continueth in God receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day."

I love this scripture. I love the promise of "more light" growing "brighter and brighter until the perfect day." After all, who doesn't want more light in their lives? I need it desperately to even make it out of bed in the morning some days. I love that we can have that light get brighter and brighter. It doesn't have to diminish. It can grow if we choose to do those things that will make it keep growing. I think it applies to one individually and to families, as we go from generation to generation. Let's start with the individual. How about this one (meaning me), for example?

Looking back on my life 16-19 years, I didn't feel like I had that much light. Being a teenager, having hormones, manic-depression, low self-esteem, acne, nerdiness, and much more made me feel like there was no good that I could accomplish, no worth to my existence. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints found me through a friend, and I haven't looked back since. My struggles didn't stop there though. Marriage and kids caused me to grow up, be less selfish and self-absorbed, and look to finding balance so my kids don't grow up to be as nutty as I am/was (I hope). As it says in "America the Beautiful" verse 2, "Confirm thy soul in self-control..." I thought I had found balance and peace at last. I was wrong. Recently I had three friends talk to me at different times and tell me that I've 1) shut down; 2) I'm strong and independent maybe, but also shut down for sure; 3) that my soul has holes in it that need fixing. And it's all true. Self-control and maturity help -- absolutely. But if I'm not willing to confront my demons and route them out actively and aggressively of the dark places in my soul, then there's no hope for complete wellness and balance. That's where the light comes in. I realized last Wednesday at 9:58PM that I AM READY. For the first time in almost 34 years of life, I am ready to feel completely whole and balanced. Not only that, but I believe, for the first time in almost 34 years of life, that I can feel and be whole and balanced. That's huge for me. Who knew? Only God, who, if I continue in Him, will send me more and more and more light until the perfect day. What a promise! What a feeling!

And as for generations, I hope to raise my kids healthier mentally and spiritually than I am. I hope that they will in turn raise families even more healthy -- brighter and brighter. I've been thinking about this a lot because I have a wonderful brave family member who is fixing her past with her present and future. She had an important person in her life growing up who, because of selfishness and sin, diminished her light and damaged her in many ways that still make me sick and mad to think of. But she is receiving light; she is continuing in God. She is making sure her kids don't grow up that way, that her family can receive more light. They in turn will teach their families, and so -- brighter and brighter...How great that we can choose to rise up from our past decisions and experiences and grow brighter and brighter until the perfect day!

Oooo! That just gave me an idea for our next week's scripture: 2 Nephi 2:27 "Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself."