The Neglectful Gardener, a Pastoral Novel, by E

'Twas early Spring when the young lad and his fair mother were out in the garden. The boy had in his eager hand a packet of seeds. With optimism shining in both their eyes, mother and son carefully selected a choice spot for, what they hoped would become, a bed for their dinner greens. With tender care throughout the summer months that followed, the seeds, sown in a row were weeded and watered. Bright eyes searched the ground for any sign of verdant life. And then, to their surprise and delight, one day appeared the lettuce. "Dear Husbandman," inquired the Lady, "wouldst thou like to partake of the fresh green lettuce in our garden for thy evening repast?" "No, good woman," came the reply, "Not tonight." And so the months wore on, leaving the garden to fend for itself as a trip to the desert and then a trip to the shore took the faithful gardeners away from their home. And when they returned from their journeyings, alas! A slothful spirit had overtaken all of the household. Weeds began to creep into the bed of greens and the lettuce went unpicked...

This is what happens to lettuce if you don't pick it:

Fascinating. I'm wondering if the lettuce seeds are in the top knobby things. Maybe next year we will plant a whole flowerbed full of lettuce trees.

I'm not much of a gardener, although one day I'd like to be. The big garden in our backyard has been a challenge since we moved in, but faithfully, we planted peppers, tomatoes, cucumbers, and corn. We kept up on the weeding pretty well until we left for Gallup in July. When we returned, we repented of our sloth and cleared the weeds out again until we left for California in August. When we got home, it was a hopeless cause. The soil in our back garden has no nutrients, so we've fertilized and thrown all our kitchen scraps out there in an effort to feed the soil. I'm not sure it's working, but we are growing random tomato plants all over. It's pretty funny.

As for flowers, well, I'm not too big on flowers. They look nice, but I'd rather use the flower beds for something functional -- like lettuce trees or broccoli
,

zucchini, or pumpkins. I had great plans for peas climbing up the porch railing, but the snails squelched that idea. The problem with planting things in the front flowerbed is that we're not out there too much in the summer and plants get neglected. Lettuce tree, anyone?